More proof summer is here, kinda. It was 40 degrees when I woke this morning! 

HeHeHe... summer is here. 

REMhq: HOME If you like your internet the way it is: Click Here

Happy Mothers Day: "Happy Mothers Day

This is a video of a baby squirrel getting lost in downtown New York City. Things looked pretty bleak for the little guy until his mother found him and carried him back home."

How strong are those bike wheels?

No he's not dead, just passed out.


If this describes you see the girl below.


Where glad their not!

Someone hates this kid.


Some crazy and stupid pics from the net... mostly break.com.

Not much going on in our world just job work (I wish I could win the lotto, life would be so different for so many people.) bills and house work. Carrie loves her new job at the bead store it pays less but she if having so much fun. My work has been long = hours and stress. My hotel is getting ready for some major renovations (work has started already) and keeping an eye on that while managing the daily stuff is adding hours to every day.

So on Friday night 3:45 or so am this couple checks in, she is a knockout and the guy is beaming with pride. (No one checks into a hotel at 3:45 am unless your to drunk to drive or it's a hook up) The guy tells me he met the girl at a notorious strip club in DT Minneapolis. I don't know if she works there or what but she didn't seem to pleased to have this guy broadcasting it to this audience of one. Twenty minutes latter the guy comes to the desk looking for condoms, I/we don't stock them but their is a SuperAmerica (think 7-11) half a block away. He jumps in his car and speeds out to the store. When he pulls back into the parking lot he is followed by a squad car. The cops informed me when they come into the hotel to confirm he was a guest that he has several outstanding warrants and will be going away for tonight. Now the dilemma, do I call the girl and let her know? Nope, I figure if she is worried about him she will call or come to the desk. She didn't.

So this will be an experiment. I just read an article over at Fade to Numb about search results linking to your blog. I always knew about this but now... I'll play with it. I have seen some dozzies on my site meter, but I thought I word throw up a few choice words to see what happens next.

Most popular searches according to technorati are: Karl Rove, allofmp3, al gore, rove, mother's day, Iran, DA vinci code, boing boing, nsa, mission impossible.

OK now a few others: Paris Hilton nude, sex tape, Pamela Anderson, family guy, masturbating, babe and juggs.

That should be enough lets see what happens next?

Wish I had known this before I bought that engagment ring! 

Judge Orders San Diego to Remove Cross: "Judge Orders San Diego to Remove Cross

By ALLISON HOFFMAN
The Associated Press
Thursday, May 4, 2006; 8:17 AM

SAN DIEGO -- After a 17-year legal battle between the city and a self-described atheist, a judge has ordered San Diego officials to remove a giant cross from a hilltop park or start paying $5,000 a day in fines."

Nothing witty or funny to say to this, it's just WRONG!

Teacher in student-sex case arrested on probation violation, officials say - Nashville, Tennessee - Wednesday, 04/12/06 - Tennessean.com: "Teacher in student-sex case arrested on probation violation, officials say"

Do you want to know what she did, well go here and find out. (May not be safe for work)

Bush challenges hundreds of laws - The Boston Globe: "President Bush has quietly claimed the authority to disobey more than 750 laws enacted since he took office, asserting that he has the power to set aside any statute passed by Congress when it conflicts with his interpretation of the Constitution."

Da Vinci judge's secret code revealed | Reuters.com: "'Jackie Fisher, who are you? Dreadnought,'"

Latest Da Vinci mystery: judge's own secret code: "Latest Da Vinci mystery: judge's own secret code hidden in ruling."
Friday April 28, 2006"

 

 

 

 

 

Spring has sprong here are some pic's, these where taken at Minnehaha falls on April 22 as Carrie recovered from a Friday night party and the start of her new job!

Not this Jon Stewart, that Jon Stewart: "Not this Jon Stewart, that Jon Stewart

April 13, 2006"

AP Wire | 04/11/2006 | Minneapolis church won't perform marriages in solidarity to gays: "Minneapolis church won't perform marriages in solidarity to gays"

HELLO, I'M AN IDIOT... DO YOU WANT TO CYBER?
WUSA9.com - Homeland Security Official Charged With Luring "Child" Online: "Homeland Security Official Charged With Luring 'Child' Online"

Dell acquires high end PC maker Alienware - vnunet.com: "Dell acquires high end PC maker Alienware"

RIP Aleinware... all hail Voodoo or better yet custom make your- own high end system!

Technorati Search: bogus bush bashing: "'bogus bush bashing'"

Bashing Bush is kinda fun, but ooohhh so easy! Now is any of the Bush bashing bogus, even I must say yes. Don't get me wrong he is an idiot, incompetent, a liar and immoral. But he has not kicked any dogs... that I know of at least. The Bush has taken alot of heat over the port debacle, but in truth... there was nothing wrong with it. My descendants will be paying for the debt of this presidency and it's bogus war after my bones have turned to dust.

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | South Park 'battling' Scientology: "South Park 'battling' Scientology"

I've seen the episode and it had me rolling, now of course the episode has disappeared from tube tv but here is part of it and here are other parts. What is scientology?

Kearney Hub - Kearney-Area News - 03/17/2006 - Nude swimmer reported at motel: "Nude swimmer reported at motel"

I once found six woman skinny dipping in the hotel pool, sounds like a dream right? Well the youngest one was probably in her sixties!

''As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good,'"

Detachable Penis... nuff said.

Impact Lab - Jolie Tops Lesbian's Favorite List: "Actress Angelina Jolie is the woman most lesbians would want to go to bed with."

Lesbians have good tastes. I think this list is pretty good,I'm not sure about Jodie Foster or Queen Latfiah but the rest... huba huba.

Snow,(front yard) Ziggy and more snow,(back yard).

Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com: "Hot and cold running beer..."

Snow on the way today, as we head off to the Kirby Puckett Memorial at the Metrodome. It's been kind quite around here besides way to much work. Carrie has started her job search now that she is unemployeed. Other wise no big news, and the recent news stories have not done much to stir up my writting juices so... updates have been few and far.

Major League Baseball : News : Major League Baseball News: "Twins left to mourn Puckett's death"

RIP Kirby, you are my memory of the World Champ Twins. It will never be the same.

Puckett in critical condition after stroke: "Puckett in critical condition after stroke"

Our prayers are with you and your family.

>>INFINITE WHEEL<<

Fun and groovey way to waste time, but you need to turn the speakers way up ;)

Girlfriend Almost Caught Cheating

This had Carrie laughing her head off, I better check her cell phone...

Don Knotts, star of 'The Andy Griffith Show,' dead at 81 - Los Angeles Times: "Don Knotts, star of 'The Andy Griffith Show,' dead at 81"

You will be missed!

A few jokes from my father in-law...

1) "Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord, ' God, what does a million years mean to you?'
The Lord replies, 'A minute.' Smith asks, 'And what does a million dollars mean to you?' The Lord replies, 'A penny.' Smith asks, 'Can I have a penny?' The Lord replies, 'In a minute.' "



2) "A man goes to see the Rabbi. 'Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.' The Rabbi asked, 'What's wrong?' The man replied, 'My wife is poisoning me.' The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, 'How can that be?' The man then pleads, 'I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me. What should I do?' The Rabbi then offers, 'Tell you what. Let me talk to her. I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know.'

A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says. 'I spoke to your wife on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?' The man said yes, and the Rabbi replied, 'Take the poison."



Last but not least, "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should get used to the idea.
"

Not sure if this is a real commercial but it sure the hell made me want to become a construction worker! Warning R rated...
Sexy Commercial For Construction Clothes

Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com: "A Florida man has confessed to bludgeoning his roommate to death with a sledgehammer handle and a claw hammer after an argument that started over an empty roll of toilet paper, authorities said Tuesday."

Thank god this guy was never my roommate, he would have used a chainsaw on me for snoreing!

Hazardous Material

This is from break.com, funny as hell, but boy it's going to get me in trouble with the woman in my life, especially my wife!

The Bear


A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
>>
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their particular religion.
>>
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first.
>>
"Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation!!!"
>>
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and Both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a crick. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's Holy Word, and praising Jesus."
>>
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says,
>>

"You fellows don't even know what trouble is until you try to circumcise a bear"

iWon - Celebrity Gossip - New York Post: "WALL ST. SCION IN TAX PROTEST
MULTI-millionaire blueblood Charles Merrill has devised a novel way to protest President Bush's proposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage: He's stopped paying his taxes."

Car Commercial and here is a nice relaxing drive in Germany?

snowman.swf (application/x-shockwave-flash Object)

Shake the snowman and make him sick... is this fun?

Dungeon Ghost

OMG they have finally been able to tape a ghost, CLICK HERE to see it!

cbs2chicago.com: Chicago news, weather, traffic: Boy Charged With Felony For Powdered Sugar: "(CBS) AURORA Police in Aurora have confirmed that a 12-year-old boy who said he brought powdered sugar to school for a science project last week has been charged with a felony for possessing a look-alike drug."

MMM... it seems that the Aurora PD have forgotten the most important tool in police work, COMMON SENSE!

And the idiot of the week is.... Brandon McDonald!

kare11.com :: KARE 11 TV - Burglar gets caught sleeping on a job: "Brandon McDonald. The Brooklyn Center man is behind bars on $35,000 bail charged with first degree burglary. He's accused of breaking into an occupied home in Champlin, but before he made off with his loot police say he fell asleep in the sun room."

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

The Best Of BUSH!

When the bush leaves office he may have a chance as a stand up comedian.

So a little while ago I mentioned the Vampire who's running for governor in Minnesota, well this guy is now my Idiot of the Week! Why, well if you have two felony warrants for your arrest it may not be a good ideal to go on local and national TV promoting yourself! Of course with two felonys he would still be behind (on the felony count that is) most Republican politicians now days. Nuff Said

R Rated 80s Band

Warning (profanity) harsh 80's reality glam rock ahead... this is so f^&king funny Carrie and I where laughing even after the fifth veiwing!!!

Hung like a horse...

So my sister in law was late as usual for a family gathering. This one was breakfast before the state fair. As everyone else was already eating Deanna came barging in threw the door talking about how drunk she had gotten the night before and proclaimed that she was 'hung like a horse.' As food spew out of everyone's mouth Deanna looked on dumbfounded, not realizing what she had said. Later that day, at the horse barn she saw what a horse was hung like. Four years later, we are still giving her crap about it."

This is a funny one thanks Chez...

"Little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' The father answers: 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: You got Male."

So instead of funnies, rants or pic's I'm going to tell you a true story, maybe I'll make this a habit?

A lifetime ago I was working at what was Minneapolis's top hotel as a bellman. This was pre internet bubble/Sept. 11th and the money could be real good.

A bloke jumps out of the taxi straight from the airport luggage bulging in the trunk. I get the door for him and send him in to the desk as I unload his luggage unto the bell cart. By the time I get to the desk he is ready to go to his room and so off we head. Back then I had a whole script of things to say... the restaurant is here, the bars are there and if there is anything I can get you, just ask. This guy peels off a twenty and asks where the nearest gay bar was. I pull a city map out of my pocket and give him directions to the Gay 90's (yes that is the real name). He follows me down and is off. An hour latter he returns with a boy toy in tow.

Now an hour passes by and it is kind of slow, till the next Taxi flies up with a drop dead blond in the back. She has a little bag but allows me to bring her in anyways, telling me she just got married this past weekend and is here to surprise her husband. As we get to the desk she starts talking to the front desk manager (this manager almost never worked the desk, thank god. In the large hotels I have worked in the FD manager is always one of the poorest FD agents, they have to much on their minds to give their full attention to the guest. They also spend so little time at the desk that they are slower, but I'm rambling now so back to the story). I'm paying little attention to the small talk till the manager hands me the key. As I look down I see the room number is the same as the bloke who I had brought up just a little while ago! Thinking that it was a mistake I ask the FD manager if this is the right room number, and she confirms that it is. The hot blond continues to talk about her wedding and husband while I dreaded what was to come. At the door I made as much noise as I could, hoping that the bloke would hear and do anything but what I was afraid he was doing. I'm sure the hot blond thought I was having a seizure or something being that I could not get the key into the lock. Finally I opened the door, and whoosh the HB flies past me into the room. Screams and yelling erupted, I remained frozen at the door not wishing to witness anything going on in that room. The bloke finally came to the door giving me the look of death as he grabbed his wives luggage.

I raced down to the FD to spew out the story to my coworkers, we all stood there laughing with a certain dread in our eyes. Not fifteen minutes latter the bloke came up to me saying he needed to score some cocaine if he wanted any chance of saving his marriage. Now as a bellman I never personally dealt in the seedier side of things like drugs or prostitutes but I always knew who did. The name I gave the bloke must of came threw because on his way back to his room he tossed me another ten spot. I finished off my shift at 11 pm but had to turn around and be back at seven the next morning. So off to bed I went, staying up only long enough to tell my then girlfriend what happened that night. She asked me what happened to the boy toy, and you know, I never did see him leave.

Seven fifteen the next morning the not so hot now blond came shuffling out the door asking for a cab. As she got in the cab she handed me a twenty to make up for yesterday saying "tell the manager that my asshole husband does not have a dime left to pay for the room. I have cancelled all the credit cards and when I get home my dad will fire his f***ing ass." Sure enough when I told the FD supervisor the card was declined. The last time I saw the bloke was after we threw him out of the hotel. He was standing on the curb with his pile of luggage talking on his cell phone trying to figure out what to do. For just a second I thought about the fifty bucks him and his wife had given to me, should I give it back? Naw, he made his bed now he can sleep in it. I went inside not really wanting to see the bloke, I felt kind of guilty and I really don't know why.

Ok, I'm bored and tired and don't have much to say so here are a couple of funnies.







Um, guys haven't you ever heard of a cel phone? And....
The I's have it! Oh I crack myself up... upside the head that is.

I can go to Google Earth and see my house, but the combined might of the US and it's Allies can't find this guy! Tell you what maybe the US should contract out it's spywork to Google.

Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com: "because boys don't knit.'"

It seems to me there has to be something better to do in NY City on a Friday night then sitting around with a group of "guys" knitting. Oh I don't know, like maybe getting mugged in central park! It just does not seem right for a guy, no matter what your sexual orientation is. But like I say "to each their own." At least they have a beer while playing with yarn.

Princeton 'witch' disputes her firing: "Jonathon Sharkey, a ‘vampire’ who is campaigning for governor."

We made a mistake once and voted a wrestler in as our governor now every whack job in the state thinks they have a chance! I guess it could be worse and I could live in a state where the governor is a talentless actor with a weird accent!

And the idiot of the week is... drum roll please.... Richard Sibila III.
WFTV.com - News Of The Strange - Man Arrested On Drug Charges After Falling Asleep At Drive-Thru: "Man Arrested On Drug Charges After Falling Asleep At Drive-Thru"

Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com: "A cow that escaped last week from a Montana slaughterhouse, leading workers and police on a six-hour chase, will be spared following a wave of popular support, officials said on Tuesday."

Do they really want to let the cow go free? After hearing about this cows across the world will try to break free with the hope of being spared!

Naturesearth: "Feline Pine� is the number one natural alternative to clay litter. No other litter measures up to Feline Pine�, The Healthy Cat Litter™. With no odor, no dust and no tracking you'll only wish you had found it sooner!"

I'm not in the habit of endorsing products but I feel so strongly about this that I have no choice. If you have cats you have to try this. The cat litter we all grew up with is a thing of the past. I tried Feline Pine in an attempt to find a better alternative for the litter box that we keep in the bedroom. (we have three cats, Ziggy the youngest is constantly fighting with the old man Shadow who is thirteen yrs old, so we have to keep them separated with one in our bedroom) Their is no smell except that of fresh pine (the wife and I are not the most attentive at changing the litter either, on average we go two weeks without changing it). Clean up is fast and easy. The pellets turn to biodegradable sawdust that can be used for compost afterwards, it's light weight and does not turn to a messy sticky glue. Give it a try, they have a money backguaranteee so there is no reason not too.

Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com: "Take a few leggy California blondes, throw in a passion for luxury cars, plenty of parties, and a distaste for parking your own car.
What have you got? A multimillion-dollar, female valet parking business, where struggling models and actresses dressed in bikinis, miniskirts or lingerie and Santa hats park the cars of the rich and famous."

OK, let's be honest take leggy blondes dressed in bikinis, miniskirts & lingerie and have them do anything and you have a solid business plan!

Free booze makes homeless healthier?

Giving homeless alcoholics a regular supply of booze may improve their health and their behavior, the Canadian Medical Association Journal said in a study published on Tuesday.

If I was homeless I would be headed for Canada!

Thanksgiving dinner at our house, the new house and xmas at uncle Mel's. Besides all that not much is new. Sorry for the lack of updates but four things have prevented them:
1. Work, work and more house work (that includes unpacking).
2. Holidays and the ramp up and down.
3. Internet connections and the lack of...
4. Shingles and not the type you put on the roof! I've come down with a very nasty case of shingles that has left me, well down and out.

Hope your holidays have been great and back to the usual posts I hope, c-ya

So Time Warner tells me there is something wrong with my cable and it will need to be rewired from the pole on in, but they can't do it till next week. This is after I have waited for almost a week for them to come out, the tech is there for maybe ten minutes and then poof! He is gone with the vague explanation above... god I hope Minneapolis goes through with their plan of city wide wi-fi, then I can tell the cable co's to kiss my *^%. I have thought about going over to the dark side and trying the Dish Network, Qwest high speed combo but... Telephone line highspeed (It's 5:45 am and I have been up all night at work so I can't think of the name) is faster then dial-up but still so slow compared to a cable modem. I have a ton of pic's and other tid bits but I can't share them from work so... everything here is good, till later c-ya

So Time Warner tells me there is something wrong with my cable and it will need to be rewired from the pole on in, but they can't do it till next week. This is after I have waited for almost a week for them to come out, the tech is there for maybe ten minutes and then poof! He is gone with the vague explanation above... god I hope Minneapolis goes through with their plan of city wide wi-fi, then I can tell the cable co's to kiss my *^%. I have thought about going over to the dark side and trying the Dish Network, Qwest high speed combo but... telephone line highspeed (It's 5:45 am and I have been up all night at work so I can't think of the name) is faster then dial-up but still so slow compared to cable a cable modem. I have a ton of pic's and other tid bits but I can't share them from work so... everything here is good, till later c-ya

So the move is done, but time warner cable will be out sometime between now and forever to turn on the cable, till then no internet.