So instead of funnies, rants or pic's I'm going to tell you a true story, maybe I'll make this a habit?

A lifetime ago I was working at what was Minneapolis's top hotel as a bellman. This was pre internet bubble/Sept. 11th and the money could be real good.

A bloke jumps out of the taxi straight from the airport luggage bulging in the trunk. I get the door for him and send him in to the desk as I unload his luggage unto the bell cart. By the time I get to the desk he is ready to go to his room and so off we head. Back then I had a whole script of things to say... the restaurant is here, the bars are there and if there is anything I can get you, just ask. This guy peels off a twenty and asks where the nearest gay bar was. I pull a city map out of my pocket and give him directions to the Gay 90's (yes that is the real name). He follows me down and is off. An hour latter he returns with a boy toy in tow.

Now an hour passes by and it is kind of slow, till the next Taxi flies up with a drop dead blond in the back. She has a little bag but allows me to bring her in anyways, telling me she just got married this past weekend and is here to surprise her husband. As we get to the desk she starts talking to the front desk manager (this manager almost never worked the desk, thank god. In the large hotels I have worked in the FD manager is always one of the poorest FD agents, they have to much on their minds to give their full attention to the guest. They also spend so little time at the desk that they are slower, but I'm rambling now so back to the story). I'm paying little attention to the small talk till the manager hands me the key. As I look down I see the room number is the same as the bloke who I had brought up just a little while ago! Thinking that it was a mistake I ask the FD manager if this is the right room number, and she confirms that it is. The hot blond continues to talk about her wedding and husband while I dreaded what was to come. At the door I made as much noise as I could, hoping that the bloke would hear and do anything but what I was afraid he was doing. I'm sure the hot blond thought I was having a seizure or something being that I could not get the key into the lock. Finally I opened the door, and whoosh the HB flies past me into the room. Screams and yelling erupted, I remained frozen at the door not wishing to witness anything going on in that room. The bloke finally came to the door giving me the look of death as he grabbed his wives luggage.

I raced down to the FD to spew out the story to my coworkers, we all stood there laughing with a certain dread in our eyes. Not fifteen minutes latter the bloke came up to me saying he needed to score some cocaine if he wanted any chance of saving his marriage. Now as a bellman I never personally dealt in the seedier side of things like drugs or prostitutes but I always knew who did. The name I gave the bloke must of came threw because on his way back to his room he tossed me another ten spot. I finished off my shift at 11 pm but had to turn around and be back at seven the next morning. So off to bed I went, staying up only long enough to tell my then girlfriend what happened that night. She asked me what happened to the boy toy, and you know, I never did see him leave.

Seven fifteen the next morning the not so hot now blond came shuffling out the door asking for a cab. As she got in the cab she handed me a twenty to make up for yesterday saying "tell the manager that my asshole husband does not have a dime left to pay for the room. I have cancelled all the credit cards and when I get home my dad will fire his f***ing ass." Sure enough when I told the FD supervisor the card was declined. The last time I saw the bloke was after we threw him out of the hotel. He was standing on the curb with his pile of luggage talking on his cell phone trying to figure out what to do. For just a second I thought about the fifty bucks him and his wife had given to me, should I give it back? Naw, he made his bed now he can sleep in it. I went inside not really wanting to see the bloke, I felt kind of guilty and I really don't know why.