Dell acquires high end PC maker Alienware - vnunet.com: "Dell acquires high end PC maker Alienware"

RIP Aleinware... all hail Voodoo or better yet custom make your- own high end system!

Technorati Search: bogus bush bashing: "'bogus bush bashing'"

Bashing Bush is kinda fun, but ooohhh so easy! Now is any of the Bush bashing bogus, even I must say yes. Don't get me wrong he is an idiot, incompetent, a liar and immoral. But he has not kicked any dogs... that I know of at least. The Bush has taken alot of heat over the port debacle, but in truth... there was nothing wrong with it. My descendants will be paying for the debt of this presidency and it's bogus war after my bones have turned to dust.

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | South Park 'battling' Scientology: "South Park 'battling' Scientology"

I've seen the episode and it had me rolling, now of course the episode has disappeared from tube tv but here is part of it and here are other parts. What is scientology?

Kearney Hub - Kearney-Area News - 03/17/2006 - Nude swimmer reported at motel: "Nude swimmer reported at motel"

I once found six woman skinny dipping in the hotel pool, sounds like a dream right? Well the youngest one was probably in her sixties!

''As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good,'"

Detachable Penis... nuff said.

Impact Lab - Jolie Tops Lesbian's Favorite List: "Actress Angelina Jolie is the woman most lesbians would want to go to bed with."

Lesbians have good tastes. I think this list is pretty good,I'm not sure about Jodie Foster or Queen Latfiah but the rest... huba huba.

Snow,(front yard) Ziggy and more snow,(back yard).

Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com: "Hot and cold running beer..."

Snow on the way today, as we head off to the Kirby Puckett Memorial at the Metrodome. It's been kind quite around here besides way to much work. Carrie has started her job search now that she is unemployeed. Other wise no big news, and the recent news stories have not done much to stir up my writting juices so... updates have been few and far.

Major League Baseball : News : Major League Baseball News: "Twins left to mourn Puckett's death"

RIP Kirby, you are my memory of the World Champ Twins. It will never be the same.

Puckett in critical condition after stroke: "Puckett in critical condition after stroke"

Our prayers are with you and your family.

>>INFINITE WHEEL<<

Fun and groovey way to waste time, but you need to turn the speakers way up ;)

Girlfriend Almost Caught Cheating

This had Carrie laughing her head off, I better check her cell phone...

Don Knotts, star of 'The Andy Griffith Show,' dead at 81 - Los Angeles Times: "Don Knotts, star of 'The Andy Griffith Show,' dead at 81"

You will be missed!

A few jokes from my father in-law...

1) "Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord, ' God, what does a million years mean to you?'
The Lord replies, 'A minute.' Smith asks, 'And what does a million dollars mean to you?' The Lord replies, 'A penny.' Smith asks, 'Can I have a penny?' The Lord replies, 'In a minute.' "



2) "A man goes to see the Rabbi. 'Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.' The Rabbi asked, 'What's wrong?' The man replied, 'My wife is poisoning me.' The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, 'How can that be?' The man then pleads, 'I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me. What should I do?' The Rabbi then offers, 'Tell you what. Let me talk to her. I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know.'

A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says. 'I spoke to your wife on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?' The man said yes, and the Rabbi replied, 'Take the poison."



Last but not least, "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should get used to the idea.
"

Not sure if this is a real commercial but it sure the hell made me want to become a construction worker! Warning R rated...
Sexy Commercial For Construction Clothes

Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com: "A Florida man has confessed to bludgeoning his roommate to death with a sledgehammer handle and a claw hammer after an argument that started over an empty roll of toilet paper, authorities said Tuesday."

Thank god this guy was never my roommate, he would have used a chainsaw on me for snoreing!

Hazardous Material

This is from break.com, funny as hell, but boy it's going to get me in trouble with the woman in my life, especially my wife!

The Bear


A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
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One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their particular religion.
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Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first.
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"Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation!!!"
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Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and Both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a crick. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's Holy Word, and praising Jesus."
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They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says,
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"You fellows don't even know what trouble is until you try to circumcise a bear"