R Rated 80s Band

Warning (profanity) harsh 80's reality glam rock ahead... this is so f^&king funny Carrie and I where laughing even after the fifth veiwing!!!


Hung like a horse...

So my sister in law was late as usual for a family gathering. This one was breakfast before the state fair. As everyone else was already eating Deanna came barging in threw the door talking about how drunk she had gotten the night before and proclaimed that she was 'hung like a horse.' As food spew out of everyone's mouth Deanna looked on dumbfounded, not realizing what she had said. Later that day, at the horse barn she saw what a horse was hung like. Four years later, we are still giving her crap about it."


This is a funny one thanks Chez...

"Little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' The father answers: 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: You got Male."


So instead of funnies, rants or pic's I'm going to tell you a true story, maybe I'll make this a habit?

A lifetime ago I was working at what was Minneapolis's top hotel as a bellman. This was pre internet bubble/Sept. 11th and the money could be real good.

A bloke jumps out of the taxi straight from the airport luggage bulging in the trunk. I get the door for him and send him in to the desk as I unload his luggage unto the bell cart. By the time I get to the desk he is ready to go to his room and so off we head. Back then I had a whole script of things to say... the restaurant is here, the bars are there and if there is anything I can get you, just ask. This guy peels off a twenty and asks where the nearest gay bar was. I pull a city map out of my pocket and give him directions to the Gay 90's (yes that is the real name). He follows me down and is off. An hour latter he returns with a boy toy in tow.

Now an hour passes by and it is kind of slow, till the next Taxi flies up with a drop dead blond in the back. She has a little bag but allows me to bring her in anyways, telling me she just got married this past weekend and is here to surprise her husband. As we get to the desk she starts talking to the front desk manager (this manager almost never worked the desk, thank god. In the large hotels I have worked in the FD manager is always one of the poorest FD agents, they have to much on their minds to give their full attention to the guest. They also spend so little time at the desk that they are slower, but I'm rambling now so back to the story). I'm paying little attention to the small talk till the manager hands me the key. As I look down I see the room number is the same as the bloke who I had brought up just a little while ago! Thinking that it was a mistake I ask the FD manager if this is the right room number, and she confirms that it is. The hot blond continues to talk about her wedding and husband while I dreaded what was to come. At the door I made as much noise as I could, hoping that the bloke would hear and do anything but what I was afraid he was doing. I'm sure the hot blond thought I was having a seizure or something being that I could not get the key into the lock. Finally I opened the door, and whoosh the HB flies past me into the room. Screams and yelling erupted, I remained frozen at the door not wishing to witness anything going on in that room. The bloke finally came to the door giving me the look of death as he grabbed his wives luggage.

I raced down to the FD to spew out the story to my coworkers, we all stood there laughing with a certain dread in our eyes. Not fifteen minutes latter the bloke came up to me saying he needed to score some cocaine if he wanted any chance of saving his marriage. Now as a bellman I never personally dealt in the seedier side of things like drugs or prostitutes but I always knew who did. The name I gave the bloke must of came threw because on his way back to his room he tossed me another ten spot. I finished off my shift at 11 pm but had to turn around and be back at seven the next morning. So off to bed I went, staying up only long enough to tell my then girlfriend what happened that night. She asked me what happened to the boy toy, and you know, I never did see him leave.

Seven fifteen the next morning the not so hot now blond came shuffling out the door asking for a cab. As she got in the cab she handed me a twenty to make up for yesterday saying "tell the manager that my asshole husband does not have a dime left to pay for the room. I have cancelled all the credit cards and when I get home my dad will fire his f***ing ass." Sure enough when I told the FD supervisor the card was declined. The last time I saw the bloke was after we threw him out of the hotel. He was standing on the curb with his pile of luggage talking on his cell phone trying to figure out what to do. For just a second I thought about the fifty bucks him and his wife had given to me, should I give it back? Naw, he made his bed now he can sleep in it. I went inside not really wanting to see the bloke, I felt kind of guilty and I really don't know why.

Ok, I'm bored and tired and don't have much to say so here are a couple of funnies.

Um, guys haven't you ever heard of a cel phone? And....
The I's have it! Oh I crack myself up... upside the head that is.


I can go to Google Earth and see my house, but the combined might of the US and it's Allies can't find this guy! Tell you what maybe the US should contract out it's spywork to Google.
Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com: "because boys don't knit.'"

It seems to me there has to be something better to do in NY City on a Friday night then sitting around with a group of "guys" knitting. Oh I don't know, like maybe getting mugged in central park! It just does not seem right for a guy, no matter what your sexual orientation is. But like I say "to each their own." At least they have a beer while playing with yarn.


Princeton 'witch' disputes her firing: "Jonathon Sharkey, a ‘vampire’ who is campaigning for governor."

We made a mistake once and voted a wrestler in as our governor now every whack job in the state thinks they have a chance! I guess it could be worse and I could live in a state where the governor is a talentless actor with a weird accent!
And the idiot of the week is... drum roll please.... Richard Sibila III.
WFTV.com - News Of The Strange - Man Arrested On Drug Charges After Falling Asleep At Drive-Thru: "Man Arrested On Drug Charges After Falling Asleep At Drive-Thru"


Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com: "A cow that escaped last week from a Montana slaughterhouse, leading workers and police on a six-hour chase, will be spared following a wave of popular support, officials said on Tuesday."

Do they really want to let the cow go free? After hearing about this cows across the world will try to break free with the hope of being spared!


Naturesearth: "Feline Pine� is the number one natural alternative to clay litter. No other litter measures up to Feline Pine�, The Healthy Cat Litter™. With no odor, no dust and no tracking you'll only wish you had found it sooner!"

I'm not in the habit of endorsing products but I feel so strongly about this that I have no choice. If you have cats you have to try this. The cat litter we all grew up with is a thing of the past. I tried Feline Pine in an attempt to find a better alternative for the litter box that we keep in the bedroom. (we have three cats, Ziggy the youngest is constantly fighting with the old man Shadow who is thirteen yrs old, so we have to keep them separated with one in our bedroom) Their is no smell except that of fresh pine (the wife and I are not the most attentive at changing the litter either, on average we go two weeks without changing it). Clean up is fast and easy. The pellets turn to biodegradable sawdust that can be used for compost afterwards, it's light weight and does not turn to a messy sticky glue. Give it a try, they have a money backguaranteee so there is no reason not too.


Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com: "Take a few leggy California blondes, throw in a passion for luxury cars, plenty of parties, and a distaste for parking your own car.
What have you got? A multimillion-dollar, female valet parking business, where struggling models and actresses dressed in bikinis, miniskirts or lingerie and Santa hats park the cars of the rich and famous."

OK, let's be honest take leggy blondes dressed in bikinis, miniskirts & lingerie and have them do anything and you have a solid business plan!


Free booze makes homeless healthier?

Giving homeless alcoholics a regular supply of booze may improve their health and their behavior, the Canadian Medical Association Journal said in a study published on Tuesday.

If I was homeless I would be headed for Canada!

Thanksgiving dinner at our house, the new house and xmas at uncle Mel's. Besides all that not much is new. Sorry for the lack of updates but four things have prevented them:
1. Work, work and more house work (that includes unpacking).
2. Holidays and the ramp up and down.
3. Internet connections and the lack of...
4. Shingles and not the type you put on the roof! I've come down with a very nasty case of shingles that has left me, well down and out.

Hope your holidays have been great and back to the usual posts I hope, c-ya